Sunday, November 23, 2014

The Role of Innocent Guilt in Post-Conflict Work

Well, it's been a while since I added anything to this Diary,
but now seems as good a time as any.

*Note to self: “I will be fine, because I will not pursue
anyone who doesn't want me in his or her life.
Of course, I wish things were different,
but so do a lot of people, about a lot of things.”

Applied Philosophy
The Role of Innocent Guilt in Post-Conflict Work

Abstract
The phenomenon of 'innocent guilt' regards cases where people feel guilty without being responsible for the wrong doing or suffering at which the guilt is directed. The aim of this article is to develop a consistent account of innocent guilt and show how it may arise in the aftermath of conflicts.  In order to do this, innocent guilt is contrasted with guilt and collective guilt, and the account is substantiated by drawing on the writing of Ludwig Wittgenstein and Emmanuel Levians, who both consider the phenomenon of innocent guilt a necessary element in the fundamental structure of the ethical subject. These thinkers, furthermore, show a connection between guilt and possible victims of wrongdoing, rather than between guilt and personal acts of wrongdoing. Innocent guilt may thus appear in the aftermath of conflicts as an ethical and emotional response to the fact of finding oneself in a post-conflict situation still marked by suffering. It thus reveals a fundamental need to contribute to the relieving of such suffering.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.111/japp.12041/full







Sunday, January 23, 2011

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PA/PAS): The Alienated ~ Non-Alienator

I would like to preface this summary with an explanation of why it is so important for me to post it in the first place. I lived this experience and paid the ultimate price of a lifetime of hurt and rejection because of PAS and want other parents to be aware of the fact that this can happen to you. As a result you will likely pay the ultimate price of rejection by your own adult child, when the cycle of alienation is finally complete.

Costs of Parental Alienation Syndrome:

Consider the resources required by families or individuals afflicted with PA/PAS. Seeing their once-loving relationship with their child eroding away. Many targeted parents will use all the financial resources they can muster to pay for legal representation to try to preserve their relationship with their beloved child. This is risky.

Mounting attorney fees, court evaluations and multiple other costs involved in making the case quickly depletes their financial reserves and places them in an even more vulnerable position. This further reinforces the alienating parents ability to knowingly or unknowingly deteriorate the well being of both their own child and that of the other biological parent.

If successful, the target parent's relationship with their child will be damaged in its early stages and lead to a lifetime of alienation, that is then passed down through their child, who unwittingly lives out the experience as abandonment. Leaving the target parent without recourse. The damage having already been done.

~~~~~~~~~

The Alienated~Non-Alternator is similar to the definitions created by Doctor Douglas Darnell, Ph.D. in his work entitled, "Three Types of Alienators" but is not included in his work. I therefore borrowed from his work to construct an additional category of Parental Alienation, called 'The Alienated ~ Non Alienator" adding a 4th 'Type' overlooked, and not even considered by many professionals in the field.

The Alienated ~ Non Alienator is a parent that does not disparage their own child's other parent, step-parent, brothers or sisters, grandparents or any other members of their other parents, direct family members.

Characteristics of the Alienated ~ Non-Alienator:

1. Their ability to separate in their own minds the child's needs from their own. They recognize the importance for the child to spend time with their other parent so that they may build a mutually loving relationship. They avoid making the other parent a target for their own hurt or loss.

2. Their ability to allow the child's relationship with their other grandparents and stepmother or stepfather.

3. Their respect for court orders and authority.

4. Their ability to let their own anger and hurt not interfere with the child's relationship with the other parent.

5. Their ability to be flexible and willing to work with the other parent.

6. Their ability to feel guilty if they act in a way to hurt the child's relationship with the other parent.

7. Their ability to allow the other parent to share in their children's activities.

8. Their ability to share medical records or other records of importance.

It is my opinion that ~ 'Alienated ~ Non-Alienators' would do well to form support groups to help in aiding them in recognizing the signs of parental alienation in their own children, brought about by the other parent, (knowingly or unknowingly) in order to ward off parental alienation, that leads to damage in their relationship with their own beloved child(ren) when their child(ren) they become adults.
*Kathleen D. Cone

Friday, December 3, 2010

Child of Mine

Tempo 126 ~ 4/4 ~ D-flat Minor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Child of Mine
~ ~~~~~~~
I have a son, my only one and he's not my own.
He was born of me, in pain I conceived his birthright to be free.
~
He was taken away, when I could not play the game of life.
Now I wilt away, and I am afraid of my own shadow at night.
~
Tell me how long, how long has it been?
Tell me how long, how long has it been since you went away?
I can't seem right now to remember.
~
I've cried enough tears, to fill an entire ocean.
So tell me, how long?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a son, my only one and he's not my own.
He looks like me and in nature I believe, he'll choose to fight for his freedom.
~
From the beginning it was not this way, but I could not play the game of life.
Now I wilt away and I am afraid of my own shadow at night.
~
Tell me how long, how long has it been?
Tell me how long, how long has it been since you went away?
I can't seem right now to remember.
~
I've cried enough tears to fill an entire ocean.
So tell me, how long?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, I had a son, he was my only one, yet he was never really my own.
As I wilt away, I am afraid of my own shadow at night.
~
They won't let me see you, I can't even find you, I call out but nobodies there.
It's like being locked up inside four walls, white and blank with only your mind to reach out.!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kathleen D. Cone 1982